


the flares in the sky

by charleybradburies



Series: but did you see the flares in the sky? | someone's out there [1]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005), Gossip Girl, Imagine Dragons (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Doctor Who Fusion, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Alternate Universe - Gossip Girl Fusion, Alternate Universe - Space Opera, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, Canon Temporary Character Death, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Character Death Fix, Death, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everything Hurts, Everything is Beautiful and Everything Hurts, Female Doctor (Doctor Who), Female-Centric, Friendship, Gen, Heavy Angst, Inspired by Music, Loss, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Multiple Doctors (Doctor Who), No Romance, No Sex, Not Really Character Death, Nothing Hurts, POV Female Character, Power Dynamics, Regeneration, Reincarnation, Sacrifice, Self-Sacrifice, Song Lyrics, Songfic, Space Opera, Suicide, Temporary Character Death, Ultimate Sacrifice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2015-08-10
Packaged: 2018-04-13 21:55:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4538859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charleybradburies/pseuds/charleybradburies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the Twelfth Doctor sacrifices himself, he entrusts his companion Serena with his most prized possessions: his screwdriver, and his hearts and soul - making Serena the Doctor in his place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the flares in the sky

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nereid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nereid/gifts).



> Inspired by fluffyfrolicker's [prompt](http://fluffyfrolicker.livejournal.com/67567.html?thread=2395887#t2395887) at AU August Comment Ficathon, of Doctor!Serena which is an amazing AU that I have lowkey loved for a while and am now highkey loving. (Obviously.)
> 
> The song is Flares by The Script and it's both entirely relevant and perfect.

_**"...the fire's out but still it burns, and no one cares; there's no one there..."** _

“Doctor, please, no!” Serena shrieks, running to the door of the TARDIS after him, disregarding that she’s nearly blinded by the light of the atmosphere fizzling outside and that standing on the stoop is almost a surefire way for both of them to fall out into the burning aether and the quickly-destructing star.

“There _has_ to be some other way to stop this! You can’t just... _die_!”

“I’m not going to _die,_ Serena,” he says, putting his hands on her forearms. “This body, this soul, they’ve been through all they can.” 

He cups her cheeks in his cold palms.

“But the Doctor...the Doctor will live on.”

“But _you’re_ the Doctor.”

“No. No, the Doctor is much bigger than this. Bigger than I. Greater. You, Serena, _you_ will be the Doctor now,” he continues, stroking away the tears that stream silently down her cheeks. 

“I’m an actress, not a scientist, but I’m quite sure that’s not how transfer of energy works,” she whimpers. He strips out of his suit jacket, laying it over her shoulders; she feels the sonic screwdriver tap against her chest from its place inside the breast pocket.

“Wait. Once this body’s been consumed, you’ll know, Serena. You’ll know.”

“I’ll know _what_? That you _are_ actually a madman?”

“You’ll know,” he repeats, and runs a hand through his dusty grey hair before pulling her into a tight hug and saying it yet again.

_**"...Did you break but never mend? Did it hurt so much you thought it was the end?..."** _

His hands whiten with his grip on the TARDIS door and she realizes there really isn’t a way to stop him. He stands on the edge for a moment, taking a deep breath, and she takes a shaky one in unison, staying only a couple inches from him, even as he leans forward and falls.

It takes longer than she expects, his body remaining a speck in her vision until she sees the field of radiant red flicker and rapidly expand. 

It fills the sky, flushing the universe with searing heat and pink and orange as far as she can see, and then it’s gone, leaving nothing visible in its wake as though it had never existed at all.

But it _had,_ and it hurts; her heart aches like it’s never ached before, full of need and pain. And yet...it’s empty. Divided. Like her whole life is flooding into her all at once, but also like it doesn’t belong to her at all. A whimper and a bang at the same time, a phenomenon that felt unfamiliar even though the description was much too close to what she knew.

_**"...Did you lose what won't return? Did you love but never learn?..."** _

This was how it ended, how lives ended, how two lives (and perhaps more) had ended only a moment ago: a whimper and a bang, like fires that flickered loudly and then went unattended until one person tried to breathe life into it, far too late to save it.

 _It seems dark and dismal to compare lives to fires of any sort,_ Serena thinks, _to compare brilliance and genius and curiosity to unadulterated destruction but then...energy never dies, so there really isn’t an end to_ anything, _is there?_

A shooting star shines in the distance, far enough from her that she’s frankly surprised she sees it at all. She remembers wishing on stars with Blair, but she doesn’t know what she’d ever wish for now. Nothing she might think of is anything she could have; besides, she’s too disillusioned now to believe that wishing might make any actual difference.

No, she’s just...floating in space, now, far more alone than she’d started out. Nothing. There was nothing. 

Nothing, and everything, all at once, and all inside of her.

_**"...did you see the flares in the sky? Were you blinded by the light?..."** _

Her breath shakes again; she closes the door and moves to stand at the railing. She breaks down weeping before she reaches it, and spends an inordinate amount of time leaning into the metal bar trying to hold herself up as she sobs.

Eventually she steadies herself enough to walk, and heads in towards the console, slipping her arms into the sleeves of the Doctor’s jacket and feeling for the necklace that Blair had given her years ago - how many, she isn’t sure; besides, she can’t remember when she is at the moment, if they’re millennia in the future or back in the days of Rome. 

Time travel could do that, strip from one their sense of time, of destination, of past and future and self, warp everything in a way that decidedly - and unfortunately - _didn’t_ involve the Rocky Horror Picture Show. 

Her phone buzzes from her purse, sitting underneath the railing of the console, and she picks it up for what might well be the first time in weeks. 

The fact that being in the TARDIS gives her cell service is almost as surreal as what she’s just witnessed.

Blair, with a photo. 

A shooting star.

_“I know we’re not s’posed to tell ppl our wish...but I wish u were here. xoxo, B”_

She knows which shooting star it was that Blair saw, and she smiles, the next few tears more of relief than anything else - relief at the sheer fact that she really wasn’t alone in the universe.

_**"Cause someone's out there, sending out flares..."** _

Though her breathing comes easier, Serena’s heartbeat still feels wildly out of control, and when she moves her hand from the pendant of her necklace to her chest she realizes: there are two of them.

_Two heartbeats._

One was hers; the other must have been the Doctor’s...that meant she had two hearts, even though there was no conceivable way for that to be true. 

_Ten years ago, I thought aliens themselves were inconceivable. Then, I met one, and everything changed._

_And now...I_ am _one._

**“I’m the Doctor.”**


End file.
